Life Update: Life with Two Kids
with Dr. Lydiana Garcia
The last few months has really been interesting and challenging for most of us. We are experiencing adversity and something new that many of us have not experienced or have not experienced in a long time as a collective. I am honored to share some of the skills that has helped me the most during these times, as well as some life updates and changes with the podcast.
As most of you may know, we already completed season 2 of The Beyond Resilience Life podcast were. But given our life circumstances, not only what's going on in our world, but also my own new reality of being kind of a stay at home mom, working and doing distance learning with my son, I will limit the invitation of guests for the moment and I will mostly focus on solo episodes. It will be more about what's going on in the world and things that can be helpful. It’s going to be a little bit about everything and not about specific topics like the first two episodes.
The second thing I wanted to share about the podcast is that I wanted to build The Beyond Resilience Life community. I would like to build a community, especially with everything that's going on that most of us have to be “isolated” or are staying in our homes and the whole distance learning. This will be thru an app called Mighty Networks, it’s out of Facebook and it’s free and it will be bilingual.
My goal for The Beyond Resilience Life community is for us to be able to communicate and interact with each other, with anyone that is part of the community and with myself as well. I would like to get to know you more so that way, I can see how I can tweak the information I share with you. I am wanting to be able to hold monthly networking events, or at the moment online, and if you know someone from your area maybe you can hold small group meetings, or if the time comes, we are all able to meet in person. And then for you all to know if there's any event coming up, besides me sharing it in the podcast, you'll be able to know if there’s a Zoom call or any events you’re interested to join, that way we can start seeing each other's faces or hearing each other's voices. If you want to join, please go to https://the-beyond-resilience-life-community.mn.co/ I am really excited to get to know each of you as we build this community.
For some of you that prefer to receive and read information via email, you can opt in to my email list where I did deeper with the information that I share. Recently, I shared a video that I did talking about the Self Regulation Plan that I have. It’s a 5-page PDF freebie that has information on how to create your own self regulation plan. You can download your copy https://www.thebeyondresiliencelife.com/self-regulation-plan It also includes like a social support network, and I did an almost 30-minute video that I shared on my email list on how to use the plan.
I’m also excited to share that The Beyond Resilience Life podcast now has more than 15,000 overall downloads. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m going to start sharing some of the reviews on the podcast episode as a way of thanking you for your support, and to also encourage you to please write a review, rate us, and subscribe on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, or Stitcher. This will greatly help increase the ranking of the podcast and make it more visible for other people that might also benefit from the information that we have.
I’d also like to share some life updates after giving birth to my daughter, her name was Luna and she was born May 20th. It was an interesting birth and kind of way shorter than with my son because it progressed really fast. Overall, I would say that I was very in flow until I had to go to that active labor part and got scared of what was happening. But it took over and felt very empowered and that what was my Luna has been so far. She's been very loud, like I’m here warrior kind of loud. And many people go like of course she will be like that, like look at you, but racing a little mini me is quite an interesting journey.
Something else is that breastfeeding was very challenging around week 5. She had a tongue-tie and we proceeded to having it removed by a dentist using laser, and that was very challenging. There were other challenges that I'll talk more in a different episodes. Right now she is four months and a half and she's always surprising me with new things.
Another thing that most moms or caregivers may relate to, is distance learning. My son started school but now he’s at home doing distance learning. I am blessed about his school because he got into my top one school and I love his teacher. But it’s been really hard for him because he’s a very social kid. He would often ask his teacher things like how she’s doing, what is she going to eat and stuff like that. He’s craving for connection and communication and that been really hard from a mom’s perspective because I do have a very social kid that needs that. He also often says how he wants his grandparents to come. And when I even think about that, that my parents have not been able to meet my daughter, if I really like slow down and think about it, it makes me very emotional. It's so sad that things have been this way and that really breaks my heart.
Most Helpful Skills for Me During All these Transitions
There were so many things going on, with breastfeeding, with my son’s mini-surgery (tonsillectomy) and distance learning, we also moved houses, and not having enough support, among other things. It has been really challenging and not restful. But in general, it’s being able to recognize that you need to continue practicing skills that can make you feel calmer and regulated.
Here are some of the skills that has been really helpful for me during all these transitions.
- Slowing down and allowing things. Knowing that I did not have to resolve everything or have to be “on”, that I could “turn the switch off”. Just allowing things and noticing them which is still hard but it helps when I say it out loud, or I talk about, or I write about it. Noticing things and noticing the emotions without necessarily judging what’s good or bad. If I'm regulated, I tried to stop myself from judging as much as I can, if I'm not regulated it will go there. And again, that's another noticing. In general, trying to slow down and put in perspective everything that's going on and how we are in a survival.
- Listening to music. I keep remembering there was a day that it was really hard, because I had to do a launch for an online program and the distance learning and being our own. And it was that evening, when I feel how that day has been horrible. And then I remember, hello music. So I just put music we did like a little dance party. And that changed the mood, 360 degrees. So I would definitely say music, music, music.
- Being with nature. I would normally take a walk around my new neighborhood, and just noticing the plans, the flowers. Even just having plants inside the house really helped me.
- Physical grounding. Activities like pushing my feet in the ground, putting in the weighted blanket on my lap and using sensory things that I would use with my clients, I'm using them myself and has been really helpful.
- Using my five senses. When nursing my daughter, or when we’re having fun with her brother, I am pausing and trying to just see what I am seeing, noticing the sound and the smell and kind of putting them on a memory bubble.
- Smelling scents. One of the things that I enjoy and find helpful is smelling scents like essential oils, and one of my favorites is eucalyptus.
- Savoring and pausing. This includes little thins like drinking coffee as part of my morning routine and just savoring and pausing even for just a few moment.
I hope you find some of these helpful in keeping you calm and regulated. The most important thing is to keep practicing the skills so when the time comes, it would not be as hard for you to use them.
You can also listen to the full episode by visiting https://www.thebeyondresiliencelife.com/blog/life-update-life-with-2-kids.
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