Resiliency During COVID-19:
Being Gentle with Yourself
Dr. Lydiana Garcia
With all the uncertainty and with how this pandemic is impacting each one of us in a different way, it is extremely important that we also learn how to be more gentle with ourselves. When you think about the pressures that you add into your life and with everything that you're going through and you know will go through, one way of managing it is trying a different perspective of bringing yourself up and being more kind with yourself.
One of the first things that is really important is continually accepting what is. You’re probably feeling like all sorts of different feelings and grief about what you have lost or what you can lose but accepting the reality of what is happening instead of denying it or trying to change it would greatly help you find the right solutions and from really doing the things you have to do. You can read more about Radical Acceptance, HERE.
Ways to Being More Gentle with Yourself
What we’re going through for the last few weeks is a lot and is very complicated. We are all going through it together globally and yet, we're experiencing it in a different way depending on the many factors or even privileges that we have. Here are some ways I highly recommend to help you be more gentle with yourself.
- Prune out things that are not needed. Notice the inner discussions of your inner parts and inner voices about "you have to do this, you have to do that, you have to do this" and the urgency that it can bring. At the same time, after regulating, start including a more gentle voice of the things that are needed right now. What are the needs, the things that are your basic needs, primary stuff and things that you need to focus on. And how can you prune everything else.
- Lower your expectations. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Right now, I’m trying to lower my expectations and that’s why I’ve been doing my Resiliency During COVID-19 Podcast series very simple, shorter and unedited episodes. I have not pressured myself at all to create that much, even content like videos and stuff because I am coparenting, co-working, eight months pregnant and with an almost five year old son who's also having his own reaction because he's not going to school, and it’s a lot.
- Explore all the different tasks on a weekly basis. I keep taking things out on a weekly basis. If your child has to watch more TV right now, let them watch it. Yes, the research says it's not good, but you're surviving so this is a balance of view.
- Refrain from doing things “perfectly”. Now is not the time to be the perfect mom or the perfect caregiver. It’s not the time to have a perfect homeschooling because homeschooling is also not like this on a normal situation where children are learning from home during a pandemic while you are still trying to work or figure out ways to way bring money. You’re also not working from home because right now it’s totally different. You do not have the same time, the same space if you are sharing the room, and the same environment since you have the kids in the background than when they are attending school.
- Notice your body and where you are holding that tension. From time to time, try to do a scan from your head to your toe and notice where you are holding that tension. With your imagination, use a guided visual of some golden light or white light or whatever color you like, coming all the way from your head to your toes and just taking all the tension out.
Try to explore and look internally about other different things that could help you be more gentle with yourself. Whenever you hear that little voice like, "you could be doing this, you could be doing that, you could be doing this”, try to be at capacity where you can see it. Try to validate it and be like “I see you and I'm choosing to be more gentle with myself right now.” Whatever you have to do, try to also listen to the other voice that is wanting to be more gentle with yourself. There is so much more space and peace in figuring this out.
I hope any of these skills are helpful to you and that you and your loved ones stay safe and healthy.
If you want to listen to the full episode, please visit https://www.thebeyondresiliencelife.com/blog/bonus-resiliency-during-covid-19-being-gentle-with-yourself