Guest: Zul Ruiz Ginés, LM, CPM
Planning and preparing for your baby’s arrival should not only be focused on buying baby clothes or decorating the room. Spending some time and focusing on things that gets you empowered and makes you more resilient contributes a lot to having a good and positive birth experience.
Importance of Preparing and Having a Resilient Birth
The Certified Professional Midwife Zulgeil E. Ruiz, a good friend and is part of my birth team, stresses how birth is both a beautiful space and a moment where you are most vulnerable emotionally, spiritually and physically. One of the biggest misconceptions during this moment is the pain, not the physical pain, but the suffering. Pain is physical while suffering is emotional; that emotional pain from a past situation which you keep on relieving especially when triggered. A lot of the traumatic experiences from the past can and most likely will come out based on how you will be treated during this moment, and that can be very triggering.
I remember with my first child, I could barely go to sleep and was standing most of the time because of contractions and it felt like an image of a lion was just taking over me. It’s hard to imagine how a lot of hospitals require people to stay laying down because of the internal monitors or other things, but that moment that you’re required to lay down, be still and be prohibited of doing what your body tells you, that would become suffering. Unnecessary comments like "come on, everybody's having babies, you can do it” would definitely add to having a traumatic birth experience, too.
Not being treated with respect and as a sacred space while you are giving birth can be very damaging not only to the mom but also to the infant. Zul explained how because of blueprint cellular memory, our cells can remember. Even if your mind doesn’t remember, your cells remember the pain in that suffering you experience while giving birth and that can be passed down to your baby, to the emotional state that you have during that moment, and to the way that you will parent your baby.
How to Become More Resilient during Birth
While pain during childbirth may be inevitable, suffering is something that needs and can be worked on. Here are some very important recommendations shared by Zul, to help moms have a good and positive birth experience.
- Choose a good birth team. Start with choosing a provider that is a good fit for you, for your family and for the experience that you want to have. Whether you want to be at the hospital, be with an OB GYN, or with a midwife, or a doula, know that there are many providers and many settings that can work for you. Choose a provider that you trust and who will respect and protect your body during its most vulnerable moment.
- Educate yourself. Read books, go to different websites, research where you’d prefer to give birth, look for providers, doulas or mom groups, and get some reviews and recommendations. Take some time in doing research and have as much information that you need.
- Practice holistic and wellness activities. This could include prenatal yoga, acupuncture and chiropractic care even during the start of the pregnancy.
- Find something that gives you joy. It can be a song, a picture of a family member you love, essential oils, or affirmations. Make it a safe space for you, whether you're at home or at a birth center, make it your safe space.
- Have a blessing ceremony. A blessing ceremony is a celebration for the mom, for the journey, and for that new soul. This can be your group of friends, family, the people you love, and where everyone could take time just to be there and send beautiful energy and blessings for the mom.
Take some time to talk about and consider these things when preparing for the birth of your baby because some people, even the ones you’re with while giving birth, can minimize the importance and the effect of these things to you and to your baby. The recommendations, especially with choosing the right birth team and the place you’ll give birth, will definitely play a big role in making sure you wouldn’t experience suffering while going through one of the most sacred and transformational moment of your life.
To further help you through this journey, here are some of Zul’s favorite reading resources.
- 1. Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
- Birthing from Within: An Extra-ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England and Rob Horowitz
- Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood
You can also find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genesisoflove/. In her Bio, you can find her email and the rest of her contact info.
To listen to this amazing episode with The Certified Professional Midwife Zulgeil E. Ruiz, please visit https://www.thebeyondresiliencelife.com/blog/resilient-birth.